He is my priority. One minute I was in my own world the next I had become the sole provider for two individual’s welfare. Immediately, I reminisced about my childhood and a life of not having the finances that would have allowed my family to live in a different manner. Some would say better, I say different because what I did have money could not buy. Still, I wanted to give more, more of what I didn’t have to my son and his mother. The daily thoughts not only about their well being but financial security were two daunting obstacles that were always present.
I think that the child you once were never really leaves, you just out grow your childish ways, but I still have that one birthday wish of wanting to have my father visible. No visits, but a consistency in when I see him, wanting to see him before I went to sleep and when I woke up. This was not a reality for me as a child, I was alone and I still feel alone sometimes. You see, this goes beyond not having my father in my daily life and even though I had him through letters, collect calls and visits Upstate, that took four, five, six, even seven hours with only a one to two hour time to embrace in the physical to play catch up, it has affected the rest of my life.
In Issue 03 of 4FATHERS Journal we continue to celebrate fatherhood through candid, but powerful visuals and recognize greats like Geoffrey Holder and Jitu Weusi. Moving forward in one’s life represents progression, but its always good to look deeply into the past, to acknowledge the works done before us. There is family only because there is history.